today i saw a fat dalmatian. i didn't know that was possible.

lately i've been thinking that it's time i get a puppy. margaret is getting older, although definitely not losing her spunk. she still has plenty of energy to scoot around the kitchen floor and try to itch her butt. she's been doing it all day today. i need to get a puppy before she dies so that the puppy can learn from her, learn how to rub her sphincter all over the floor, vomit underneath the bed so no one ever finds it, you know, the basics of how to be the best dog ever. i'm thinking about getting a dog in arizona. i bet they have special desert breeds.

or maybe i should get a poodle and see how fat i can make it.

also i figured out that your dog will eat anything if you put some worcestershire sauce on it. i've been trying to give maggie all of my leftovers so she eats healthier and so i don't waste. last night i gave her some tempeh which she didn't have a problem eating. but today she didn't want my leftover oatmeal so i put a little magic from the refrigerator on it and she wolfed it right on down.

i just got back from cashing in my giant jar of change. i've been compiling change for a while now, and i decided that today would be a good day for some chingching. i took it to one of those machines at the grocery store that counts it for you and then steals a bunch of it, which i convinced myself to be okay with. i ended up getting 150 dollars. and if you decide to redeem your money on a giftcard, like starbucks, they don't take any of your money. which is genius from a business point of view. i got 25 dollars on a starbucks card and now i'm sitting in starbucks drinking an iced soy latte, like for FREE. the straw in this drink is three times taller than the cup.